Blog Archives

Vern Bern’s Texas Asswhoop

After some tweeking, I have finally perfected my Texas BBQ sauce. My secret ingredient: Espresso.

This is fairly spicy to the average dick. You can always skip the cayenne to make sissy sauce or add habanero or more chipotle if you want it hotter’n a two-pecker billy goat.

A 12 oz can of tomato sauce
A 6 ounce can of tomato paste
1 cup stock or broth (beef or pork is prefered. I use drippings from a roast)
1/2 cup blackstrap molasses
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup bourbon or rye whiskey
1/4 cup mustard
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon liquid smoke
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (about one small lemon)
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon finely ground powder espresso or instant coffee.
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons dried onion, minced
3 teaspoons chili powder (I use 1 tsp regular chili, 1 tbs ancho, 1 tsp chipotle)
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon seasoning salt (I use a smokehouse rub)

Put in pot. Simmer for half an hour. Add more sugar to balance the spice if needed. Pour down your brisket hole.

BBQ Sauce

Advertisements