I have two drinks for you. First is the basic Daiquiri. It’s like a margarita but for rum. Your cruise ships and resorts have screwed over the daiquiri. All it needs is rum, lime, and sugar. It’s a fantastic way to drink rum.
- 2oz Rum
- 1oz fresh lime juice
- 1oz symple syrup
Mix rum, lime, and syrup in tumbler with ice. Shake vigoursly and strain into cocktail glass. Any rum will do, but you are best skipping that overly comercialized Baccardi shit. Any rum will do. I prefer aged rum. If you are a cheap fuck, try this spiced rum from Costco. It’s not bad.
If you want a tropical spritzer version, make the original daiquiry and place in a high ball glass with ice. Then pour in a 12oz can of La Croix coconut soda.
Ur welcome. It tastes like the first time you blew a guy in The Bahamas!
The margarita is not that popular in Mexico. You read that right. The margarita was popularized in the United States of Gringos. In Mexico, the tequila cocktail of choice is the Paloma. Tequila and lime are good but grapefruit seals the deal. It is often made with grapefruit soda like Squirt when fresh grapefruit is not available. When I visited the douchey, rich area of Monterrey, Mexico for a business trip they made palomas with fresh grapefruit, fresh lime, simple syrup, quality tequila, and club soda. This is my own variation that uses fresh citrus plus Italian grapefruit soda.
I call it the Palermo Paloma.
Makes two big cocktails. I use twenty ounce glasses.
- 12 oz can of San Pelligrino Pompelmo (grapefruit soda).
- Juice of one lime
- Juice of one grapefruit
- 4 oz of tequila
Pour tequila, lime and grapefruit juices into shaker with ice and shake for a minute. Pour into glasses and top with grapefruit soda. Garnish with grapefruit peel.
Drink. Poop your pantalones. Repeat.
By the way, left over grapefruits make great stunt tits.
Makes 2 drinks.
4 oz vodka
2 oz. Ginger Liqueur (Domaine Canton works. I make my own because my shit don’t stink)
1/2 oz. simple syrup (optional if you want it to be sweeter. I prefer to omit.)
Juice of 1 fresh lime
Bottle of Fever Tree ginger beer. Cock n’ Bull is great too.
Mix vodka, Domaine de Canton, syrup, and lime juice in shaker with ice. Strain into cup of crushed ice. Top with ginger beer and garnish with lime twist or leftover juiced lime halves.
If you want to make a Kentucky Mulse, use Bourbon instead of vodka and use lemon instead of lime. Boom! Get drunk. Take a dump on your neighbor’s lawn!!