Baklava Old Fashion – Whiskey Cocktail

Misty made baklava for the first time a week ago. To soak the baklava, she made a simple syrup from sugar, cinnamon, lemon peel, and cloves. We had a few extra cups of this syrup left and decided it might be good to save in the fridge to try in a whiskey cocktail.

Fast forward a week later.

Here is what I came up with: (makes two drinks)

2 oz bonded rye
1/2 oz simple syrup (ours was infused with cinnamon, lemon, and cloves)
2 dashes Peychauds bitters
1/2 oz Solerno blood orange liqueur
lemon twist garnish

Add all ingredients to a mixing glass with ice.
Stir until chilled. (Don’t shake. You’re not animals)
Strain into a chilled lowball glass.
Express lemon twist over the surface of the cocktail to release lemon oil.

Get fershnickered.


Italian (Or Assyrian) Meatballs


1 cup Italian bread crumbs. (For Assyrian, use 1 cup cooked rice instead)
2 eggs
1 small onion, minced. (I use a food processor)
½ cup finely grated Parmesan cheese. (For Assyrian, either omit or use feta cheese)
½ cup chopped fresh basil leaves
½ cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves. (For Assyrian, use cilantro instead)
1 tablespoon tomato paste.  (For Assyrian, this is optional)
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork. (For Assyrian, try ground lamb instead of pork. Or a combination of beef, pork, lamb)
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients and knead until thoroughly combined.

Roll into 1-2 inch balls and place on foil-covered baking sheet. Drizzle each meatball with olive oil and bake for 20 minutes or until cooked through. I check with a thermometer until the internal temperature of the meatballs reach 165°F. 


Your Father Smelt of Elderlfowers

2 oz of good gin (Like St. George)
1 oz St-Germain elderflower liqueur (St. Germain)
1/2 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 simple syrup
Two dashes of Peychaud’s
Lemon twist, for garnish

Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice and add the gin, elderflower liqueur, simple syrup, Peychaud’s, and lemon juice. Shake for 20 to 30 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass, garnish with the lemon twist, and serve.

Frenchy 75

Makes two cocktails. 


4 oz of good gin (we like St. George).
4 oz Champagne or dry sparkling wine (Mini bottles of Lamarca Prosecco are inexpensive and great for cocktails).
1 oz St. Germain.
1 oz simple syrup.
1 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice (about half a lemon).

Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice. Add gin, St. Germain, simple syrup and lemon juice. Shake well and strain equally into two Champagne glasses. Top with The Bubbly and garnish with a hunk of fresh lemon peel. Pour into face post haste. Get drunk. Pee pants. 

Ricky the Green Fairy


3 ounces good Gin
1 ounce Green Chartreuse
1 ounce Absinthe
1 ounce mint-infused simple syrup
1 ounce Fresh Lime juice
splash of club soda
Squished lime for garnish

Mix gin, Chartreuse, Absinthe, syrup, and lime juice in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well and pour into tall glass with fresh ice and lime garnish. Top with club soda. Drink five. Pass out. Pee yourself.

Caesar Christopherus

This is my recipe for caesar salad.

Hail Caesar!

3 garlic cloves, minced
2 teaspoons anchovy paste (sold in tubes at the store)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Juice from one lemon (about 2 tablespoons)
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard. Real dijon, not that Grey Poop-On junk.
2 egg yolks (pasteurized egg recommended) OR 1 tablespoon premium mayonnaise if you must.
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil.
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese or Romano cheese. Buy a real block of cheese. Not that canned shit.

Chopped romaine lettuce. (This recipe should cover two heads or 40oz of chopped romain. Arugula, spinach, kale are great too. Go crazy)

OPTIONAL – Pinch of hot red pepper flakes. Caesar salad with a a kick chili heat is amazing, but it’s not for everyone.

Mash garlic, anchovy paste, salt, and pepper into a fine goop. I use a mortar and pestle. In a mixing bowl, food processor, or cup, add the lemon juice, dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce, mayo, parmesean, and mix into the fine goop you just mashed. If using a bowl, slowly drizzle in the olive oil last while whisking the mixture vigouously. 

Authentic caesar needs egg. You can punch up dressing by using one egg plus one egg yolk for a bigger flavor. I pasteurize my own eggs at home, but you can buy them pasteurized from many stores. Use raw eggs at your own risk. Otherwise, mayo is an OK substitute for egg, since mayo is eggs and oil. It works well, it’s more convienent, and has less salmonella. I find that one tablespoon of mayo is about right for me. Any more than that and the mayo flavor will take over. Use Hellmen’s/Best Foods ore better. If you use cheap mayo you will destroy the dressing, in my opinion. If you use Miracle Whip… Kill yourself.

I Can’t Sleep

This is what happened after being stuck in Deadwood, SD for two weeks in 2013 during a snow storm. This took me about 80 hours to complete. I did it alone.

Equipment used:

  • Portable tripod
  • iPad 2
  • Dell laptop
  • Zoom H4 portable audio recorder
  • Canon 60D DSLR


  • Sigma 10-20 f4-5.6
  • Sigma 18-200mm f3.5-6.3 OS
  • Canon 85mm f1.8 

Adobe Creative Suite CS6:

  • After Effects
  • Premiere

Music recorded with Garage Band for iPad

Wrong Number, errr… Email

Two years ago a Realtor in Seattle named Chris Robertson put up a website that incorrectly listed his email domain as I started getting dozens of his emails daily and contacted him every week to politely remind him to change it. At first he thanked me and apologized for the inconvenience. A few weeks, later he stopped taking my phone calls but never fixed the issue, which seriously pissed me off.

I decided to have some fun at his expense:


From: melissa c*****
To: chris@
Sent: Sun, June 27, 2010 9:05:33 PM
Subject: Hi Chris!

Hi Chris,
Hope you are doing well. We met when I was with my kids in the ferry line heading over to Seattle from Vashon. I am the one that had the emergency aortic dissection / emergency open heart surgery that moved here with my husband (the chiropractor) from Sonoma about 8 months ago :). We spoke a bit on the ferry & I had also mentioned the documentary I am working on: Project Censored…we’re starting back up again with the editing in about a week or so.

Just wanted to say hello. Mike will finally be up here on Vashon full-time after his last week working down in the Bay Area next week. I came across your card and wanted to send along our contact info.

P.S. We never did get a chance to visit the baby goats. If you hear of any more let us know. Logan & Meriel would love to visit some local farm animals. Also looking forward to meeting your wife.

Best regards,
206-408-#### home


From: Chris R. Robinson
From: melissa c*****
Sent: Mon, 28 Jun 2010 07:16:13 -0000 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Hi Chris!
It was great meeting you.  I am very happy you replied.
Let me be frank. My wife and I are swingers. Would you and your husband be interested in a four way? I know it is upfront, but I thought I should just be honest with you.
Seriously. Think about it.


From: melissa c*****
To: Chris R. Robinson <chris@ch..
Sent: Mon, June 28, 2010 9:55:19 AM
Subject: Re: Hi Chris!

Hi Chris,
Thanks for your reply. Hope you both are enjoying the summer…it took awhile to arrive.

My husband and I are not swingers & are not interested – the only swinging we do is pushing the kids on the swings at Ober Park :). Thanks for being upfront. I’m from NY & appreciate your honesty.

Enjoy the sun,

From: Chris R. Robinson
From: melissa c*****
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 10:17 AM
Subject: Re: Hi Chris!

Hi Melissa.

Do me one last favor. Check the card that was given to you, the one where you got this email address. Make sure next time that you type in the correct email.
My guess is that you intended to type or chrisroberTson.
You and I did not meet. I am a comedian living in Las Vegas.
Enjoy your summer and good luck finding the Chris you met in Seattle.





From: Felicia H—–
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 10:38 AM
Subject: Agent Assistant Book Info


I have ordered the assitant book you requested. It is called The Proffesional Assistant By Monica Reynolds. I will give you call when it comes in. In the mean time you can research it online and see if it is something you would be interested in.

Have a good day

From: Chris Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 12:48 PM
To: Felicia H—–
Subject: RE: Agent Assistant Book Info

Its about fucking time!

From: Felicia H—–
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 1:31 PM
Subject: RE: Agent Assistant Book Info

Wow…. I apologize if there was any inconvenience in my getting back to you, as you know I am in an office by myself and yesterday after you left, I had a hard time getting a hold of the lady who places my orders, as she was out of the office sick. I had to email her and was waiting on a response.

From: Chris R. Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 1:22 PM
To: Felicia H——
Subject: Re: Agent Assistant Book Info

Can you locate this book for me next?

From: Tyanna F—-
To: Felicia H—-
Sent: Tue, June 29, 2010 1:50:48 PM
Subject: FW: Agent Assistant Book Info
Hello Felicia,

Please order The Professional Assistant book for agent Chris Robinson Lag #14465 and give him a call once it comes in. He will come into your office to take a look at the book to make sure it is the one he is looking for. Please disregard the request for the midget book; I am sure the agent knows we do not carry such books in our Member Service Store.

If you have any questions or concerns please contact me.

Thank you for all of your help in locating this book, I truly appreciate it!

Tyanna F—-

From: Chris R. Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 2:02 PM
To: Tyanna F—–; Felicia H—–
Cc: Tyanna F—–
Subject: Re: Agent Assistant Book Info

No midget books? Are you shittin’ me? What am I supposed to masturbate to, fucking Cat Fancy? You carry any “Chicks with Dicks” books?

From: Tyanna F—–
To: Chris R. Robinson
Cc: Felicia H—–; Monica B—–
Sent: Tue, June 29, 2010 3:29:36 PM
Subject: RE: Agent Assistant Book Info
Mr. Robinson –

I am copying your broker, David —- and -*****’s legal counsel, Chris O—–, on this e-mail.  ***** considers your below e-mail harassment.  When your book arrives, we will mail it to you and charge your ***** account. 

Please do not contact anyone at our ***** Office again.

Tyanna F—-
Office Manager

From: Chris R. Robinson
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 8:08 PM
Subject: Re: Agent Assistant Book Info

I have no idea who you are, what you do or where you are located. I have never met you or any of your associates. In fact, I looked you up and I don’t even live in your state.

I am certain you have the wrong email address.

Thanks for playin’!

After these, I stopped getting emails from Seattle.

High School Reunion Group Page

I unsubscribed from my high school reunion page weeks ago. I still read over it once a week for the same reason people rubber-neck on the highway after a Barnum and Bailey clown car collides with a truck carrying live chickens. It’s a disaster, yet so fun to watch.

I removed myself from the group because I could feel that old adolescent desire to be accepted and admired creeping back up from the bowels of my psyche and I didn’t like it. I checked my urge to tell everyone how “well” I am doing and instead just read over what others posted about themselves. I’m glad I did. It’s a big ME ME ME Festival among my classmates. It reminds me of when someone is talking and the other people are so obsessed with thinking up a good response that they never listen to what the person speaking says.

Here are the broken record posts:

-I have an amazing job
-I have seen the entire world
-I have the most amazing children. 3-4 on average.
-I am into hobbies or activities that all of you should envy.

I see very little about people’s spouses or if they are happy, in love, or if they have found joy in simple things. So much talk about what their children are doing rather than HOW their children are doing. I would be much more interested to read about the adversity experienced in the last 20 years. What have you overcome? What challenges did you face? Those are the things that make you interesting and human. I only see how “picture perfect” you all are and its a lie. I don’t care about your house, car, boat, vacations, retirement funds, investments, or how accomplished your children are at sports or school. Who cares? Tell me how you got through the divorce or how difficult it was when your parent died. Those stories will tap instantly into my heart and fill me with empathy.

Whatever. I guess it’s my turn to brag about my life.

-My job pays the bills.
-My car starts and gets me where I need to go.
-I have adequate shelter.
-I’m in good health.
-I have lots of hobbies and interests.

Those are all distractions from my real joy. The quickest way for me to summarize how my life is right now is to show you this video. This video contains a snapshot of everything that is perfect and wonderful about my life today.

Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza

This is the last time I performed at Second City.